An Alternate View of Sara
by Ketsula
Summary: Sara's point of view on her relationship with Ian.


**An Alternate View of Sara**

Another day had ended and Sara knew he had been out there watching over her. She didn't know exactly how she knew. On the rare day that he wasn't stalking her she could feel it. Funny, you would think it would be the other way around that she would feel his eyes on her but she didn't. When he was off doing something else for Irons she had such a lost feeling, incomplete and alone, and it scared her. It had only been a few months and she had become dependant on her tall, beautiful, black clad stalker. What truly amazed her is that she didn't mind that at all. Oh, she moaned and groaned to Ian and to Irons because that went with her reputation as an independent and strong woman. She didn't want them to think she could be controlled or manipulated. She was an independent and strong woman but she needed Ian.

This Wielder business was so out there. She had no clue how to react. Every day she was learning new intricacies about the Blade through visions and the cryptic comments from Ian. She understood that he was trying to teach her but it was all at Irons' direction. Ian had said her was her Protector but just what did that mean? If she had this supernatural sentient weapon that was so powerful why did he need to protect her and from what? Her days and nights had become unbearable. Going in and out of visions at a moments notice and trying to keep it from Jake and anyone else who happened to be around. Hoping that she had enough control of the Blade that it didn't change in front of anyone, afraid to relax her guard for a moment. She was exhausted.

Sara had no one turn to. She had lost everyone she loved. Anyone who could help her get through this was gone. And even Danny could only counsel her so much from beyond the grave and cryptically at that. Though Gabriel knew about the Witchblade and was able to supply her with information he didn't have the same emotional involvement or connection as Ian. Only with Ian could she relax at all. Ian knew about the Witchblade. Ian wouldn't be shocked. Ian would believe her. Ian was connected to her and the Blade. She needed Ian.

Sara called him Nottingham to his face and when speaking to Irons but to her in her heart he was Ian. As drawn to him as she was she couldn't trust him. Except for a few instances such as the time in her office and in the interrogation room Ian had been all business and very impersonal. For all she knew those few incidents had been choreographed by Irons to win her over. If Irons couldn't seduce her then maybe his bodyguard could. A relationship with Ian would still give Irons the upper hand. And oh, how Sara wanted a relationship with Ian but she couldn't risk it. If only she could be sure that Ian, the man not the bodyguard, meant the things he had said. That he wouldn't manipulate her for Irons' benefit. But she couldn't trust that to be true. What did she really know about him? There was almost no information to be had on his background and certainly none on his personal life. All she did know was that he was loyal to a fault to Irons and was possibly the most deadly assassin on the face of the planet.

Besides, none of her relationships had ever worked out. She just wasn't a woman who could interact with a man and not injure his ego. The men she had known didn't stay around long after she made it clear she would not answer to them or cater to their whims. Not that they were all macho egomaniacs but they expected her to be like the other women they knew and she wasn't. Not even close. Perhaps that had been the Witchblade's influence throughout her life, perhaps not. Plus her track record with friends and lovers and death was not good. Between the fear of causing Ian to lose his life and the inability to totally trust his motives where she was concerned she was left with no option but to avoid him. Ian was too important to her to lose so she would continue to keep him at arm's length. The only way to do that was to be sarcastic and nasty to him. She knew he would still be there for her if only because Irons commanded it. Not the best situation and certainly not the way she wanted it but the only way it could be.

Tonight though, she would sleep well, as well as the Blade would let her, knowing that Ian was just on the other side of the wall sitting on the fire escape keeping watch.

Her stalker, her Protector, her love.


End file.
